Fantasy Football Blog

Last night’s Bills Jets game had ZERO effect on games because who starts anyone on the Jets or the Bills or than Bill Adams. So it is time to do a little preview on week one of round one.

Dan Verse Eric

Dan after a surprise trade-raping (Maybe it was a bad first date where something happened that both parties didn’t really want but I prefer the phrase trade-rape)of Nat by Dan he is in peek condition for the playoffs. So thanks to Nat, now Dan has one of the strongest teams in the league.

This looks to be the top scoring match-up out of the two playoffs with Dan predicted to get 141 and Eric getting 154 points in the simulation. This one looks like it is going to be a barn burner. Too bad that Andre Johnson is predicted to get more points than Drew Brees. In the usual fashion, Eric has had a nervous breakdown and has changed his team name once again to belittle the completion. Dan seems to be keeping it cool because who can really predict how many yards Brees will put up on the Redskins.

Alex Verse Doug

The Stepfathers verse the Godfather of Lucky wins, whitey verse whitey, height verse hair as dark as night and so on.

This looks like a great match up if the projections with only two points separating Doug from Alex in the projections 132 to 130. Without Michael Turner it could be tough for Alex. He is going to need some trickery with one of his best players sidelined. The one thing Alex has going for him is Doug fetish for St. Louis Rams receivers.

That’s all on the preview more to come next week when we see how half of round 1 is shaping up.

Tier 4

Dan: (6-4) here we are, Dan. you are in a prime position to surprise people again with a repeat championship or fall flat on your face at the finish line. As for league managing skills, I have to give props to the man. He is always willing to pick up a player that is a week off a fantastic fantasy line. But can we really say that is a skill? Every Year there is some clowndick pick-up. This year it was Mike Sims-Walker, whose fantasy explosions have bookended enormous goose-eggs. Dan’s gunna ride him to the end. Well, him and 2 kickers. Let’s move to draft tactics… ever heard of this one? in a league starting 1 QB, Dan had 2 in 4 rounds of draft picks. I’m assuming he couldn’t attend the live draft because he had a paint-huffing party to attend. The party favor that he left that party with? Cedric Benson. Such a bad player in Chicago that Bizarro Adrian Peterson beat him out for a starting position. Nothing left to say, but File this under: Ladies and Gentlemen your returning league champion.

Javier:(4-6) The only thing this team really has going for it is a corny name. Strangely after all the belittling for last year “draft stragety” of taking Brees as soon as possible it looks like it was better then when left to his own devices and takes people like Aaron Rodgers. Is it bad when your quarter back has the nickname “a-rod”? YES! But not as bad as the fact that he must play every game like the wide receiver in Little Giants and puts glue on his hands as long has he holds the ball. Boom sack. File this under: IceBox from Little Giants is hot now and does soft core porn.

Scott: (4-6) Made a bad bet and started a fantasy owner/fantasy player relationship with Romo, Crabtree, Jason Campbell, Shocky, etc. There just isn’t enough Scott to go around for all these guys and it has really ended up screwing him in the end. File this under: single and ready to mingle.

Greg: (5-5) Like a cardboard cutout of Michael Jordan, this team looks good on paper but when push comes to shove it can be put in the corner of the room and forgotten. I think Greg joined the league just to have fun and nothing is more fun than .500. File this under: Girls just wanna have fun!

Tier 5

Lupo:(3-7) Named his team after a G-5 player but looks more like a drunken hippie in the middle of the road in a bathtub. Give this man one thing…. he thinks all his players are worth at least 1 G-5 each.  End of the day 3 wins gets you near the bottom of the pile holding on to the best WR in football and some of the worst running backs ever put on a fantasy team together. File this under: unsatisfying.

Drew: (1-9) Wow one win. Some weeks just aren’t as good as other, 9 of them for you. The strange thing is of course that coming out of the draft a lot of owners were looking at your team as one of the strongest teams out there. Just like Bill Belickick making asinine comments and play calls this falls squarely on your shoulders. File this under: confusing as to how this happen.